You Put Your Whole Self In: Why I Can't Quit Teaching

When I was little I hated the Hokey Pokey. Partly it is because I don’t have a “left/right” instinct and I never knew which side was correct to stick in the circle. Mostly though it was because I didn’t like to put my whole self in, then take my whole self out of the circle. 

However, I am preparing to do just that, to “put my whole self in”. After staying home for 2 years being a wife, mom, and teacher-author, I have decided to go back into the classroom.  

I absolutely loved being home with my youngest daughter and picking my daughters up at school when the bell rang, instead of several hours after. We explored parks, playgrounds, beaches, museums, and other fun things in our coastal Florida town. We read books, baked, tried lots of new things, and had many adventures. I also still was able to engage in my favorite part of teaching, planning and developing resources through my TPT store, Math Mojo.

It was a wonderful chapter in our lives, but then I started to feel strange pull towards something else. I started to feel a vague feeling, like I was missing an old friend. At first it was a little tug I felt when I was hanging out with the girls in my Girl Scout troop or teaching Sunday school. I found myself excitedly talking to my husband the about students in our Sunday school class, how the lessons went, and things I wanted to do the next time we taught. Then I found myself wanting to spend time in my daughters’ classrooms, volunteering for field trips and school events, and pausing longer than normal to check out bulletin boards and class displays as I walked through school. Then I was asked to do a demo lesson for a new teacher at school and I knew the source of the vague feeling that I was missing something. I missed teaching, my old friend. 

I thought that developing lessons and materials for the classroom would be enough to scratch my teaching itch, because that is the part of teaching that I am truly passionate about. However, there was just no denying that I missed working with kids. I missed the thrill of a great lesson, I missed that moment when a kid really “gets it”, I missed talking to other teachers about teaching and learning, I missed the hilarious things kids say, I missed the energy of the classroom, and I missed being a teacher. When I left teaching a wise friend said, “You can leave the classroom, but you will never be able to take ‘the teacher’ out of your heart!” I remember politely smiling at her and thinking I could fill my heart just fine, but two years later I know she was so right! In another blog post, I detailed how I decided to take a break from teaching when I thought an appendicitis sounded like a wonderful vacation from my life; I knew I needed a break. However, two years later I can not deny that I want to go back into the classroom. 

I was thrilled when my principal agreed to let me job share with another teacher. This teacher is a cornerstone of our school, she is legendary, a 30+ year veteran who is still excited to learn new things, nothing rattles her, she is a pillar of our school district, she gives selflessly in so many ways, a person I have learned so much about teaching (and life) from, and an all around terrific person. She is the person I want to be when I grow up and I am so excited to get to teach with her and learn from her. Of course that also means that I will actually have to teach in front of her (GULP)! To me that feels a little like having to play the guitar with Eric Clapton or sing in front of Pavarati (DOUBLE GULP). I am thrilled to have this great opportunity to get to teach, work as a teacher-author, and still fill all my other roles outside of school (mom, wife, friend, daughter, etc.).

So I am going to do it, I am going to put my whole self in and go back to teaching (and blog about it)!